The horrors of the hyphen-ate

Several authors out there sing the praises of hyphens, whether to provide visual stimulation or simply to sit in a space that a comma just won’t do. However, I say that enough is enough. I am sick unto death of seeing overly used hyphens. Did you ever think that perhaps if a comma doesn’t work, and a colon won’t cut it, that maybe you could make another sentence? I’m not even going to go into how difficult correctly using hyphens is, I fully understand the fact, which is why I run away from them when given the chance. I know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that I have issues with grammar, I relish in the fact even. I just wish more people did the same. Do not sit there in all your high and mighty ways stringing together words with your sideways l’s and assume you know everything. The truth is, most of the time you are improperly using them anyway.

The point of the hyphen is to avoid ambiguity for the reader, or to create an idea of two or more things together. For example, The Queen will meet with small-businessmen. If the hyphen were not present we might derive that the Queen is meeting with very tiny people in business suits, but as it is we can see the business’s are small, not the men. The same can also be said for hyphens in compound modifiers if it proceeds a noun. You can use it to combine all the words with the exceptions of the adverb “very” and any that end in “ly.” A bluish-green dress, and A full-time job, are both examples. However if it is after a noun, there is no need for the hyphen. She works full time, or, The dress, a bluish green, was floor length.

“Ex” and “self” are nearly always hyphenated. Ex-wife and Self-esteem are a couple of examples, but most of the time other prefixes do not need hyphens. Any dictionary will recognize coexist as easily as co-exist and the meanings stay the same as well. So my point being, why mess with it? Are you that lacking in your writing skills that you need that one extra character toward your word count? I’m not trying to say that hyphens aren’t required, as I’ve already pointed out there are instances when it is grammatically proper to use them, and several more uses that I didn’t list, I’m just urging you to not do so unless it is needed.

Here is an excellent short list of hyphen do’s and don’ts for those of you interested. http://www.nyu.edu/classes/copyXediting/Hyphens.html

For now that is all my doom sayers. I shall stop this hyphen rant and assume our regularly scheduled program. Maybe next time we'll go into my opinions of the dreaded "dash." lol

CoD